Just a win wasn't enough.
Tom Brady threw four touchdown passes and the New England defense shut down the prolific weapons of the Texans as the Patriots dominated Houston 42-14.
Brady found tight end Aaron Hernandez on two short scoring passes, then long strikes to Brandon Lloyd and newly signed Dante Stallworth. Lloyd had a breakout game of sorts, catching 7 balls for 89 yards, including the 37 yard strike for a touchdown.
Lloyd also covered a Danny Woodhead fumble in the end zone for his second score of the evening and Stevan Ridley ripped off a 14 yard run right up the gut of the Texans' defense to finish the scoring for New England, now 10-3.
Both teams came in with chips on their shoulders.
The Texans were feeling unappreciated despite having the best record in the NFL, having to listen to talk about how they were fading - and they embarrassed themselves on national TV. The Patriots defense probably felt just as under appreciated, but took that chip off their shoulder and beat the Texans senseless with it.
The Texans had no continuity on offense as New England's run defense held star running back Arian Foster in check while Aqib Talib and Alfonzo Dennard limited Andre Johnson's effectiveness with superb man coverage. The Patriots pass rush harassed Houston quarterback Matt Schaub all night, sacking him twice and hitting him hard when he did ghet passes off.
Houston's fearsome pass rush delivered just as many shots on Brady, who still stood tall in the pocket and shredded the Texan's secondary, hitting on 21 of 35 passes for 298 yards and the four scores. Brady had one carry, an improvised six yard scramble that gained the Patriots a first down.
He rose from the turf and emphatically signaled first down. It also signaled the end of the night for the Texans.
Schaub went 19 for 32 for 232 yards, but didn't come close to throwing for a touchdown. When he did get into the red zone, Safety Devin McCourty stepped in front of his reciever and picked him off.
He got little help from his running game, as Foster was held to 36 yards on 15 carries. Johnson did catch eight balls for 95 yards, but other than a 25 yard catch and run, he was held to 70 transparent and ultimately meaningless yards.
New England's running game accounted for 130 yards, 72 by Stevan Ridley, and the efficiency of the running game established early in the game allowed Brady to run several stretch play action pass plays, that was effective to the point that Brady never was touched while having all day to find his recievers from the flat, including Lloyd on his touchdown catch.
The Patriots' offensive line seemed overmatched at times, but held the Texans' likely defensive player of the year J.J. Watt without a sack and to only two tackles, though Brady was hit hard several times by Watt after releasing the ball.
Vince Wilfork and Jerod Mayo were regular occupants in the Texans' backfield, Mayo hitting Schaub repeatedly on blitzes and Wilfork taking over the line, penetrating at will and even causing a Schaub fumble.
Both teams came in needing to make a statement. The Patriots made a legitimate claim to being the best team in the NFL. After the beating they took from New England, the only statement the Texans could make was a description of the tank that ran them over.
Monday, December 10, 2012
New England Patriots Gameday: Jacob's Ladder
Gathering all morning and into the afternoon, the steadily darkening clouds signal the passing cold front, preparing to dump plenty of snow and freezing rain on Lewiston, making me certain that Foxboro, some 160 miles to the south, is already experiencing the weather - setting an appropriate visual for this December early afternoon.
Seasonably cool with a breeze, ever so slight, makes the difference between shirt sleeves and a winter jacket. I am quite comfortable in my Belichickian-style Hoodie, complete with faded mustard stains and sleeves appropriately chopped mid-forearm.
"The clouds prepare for battle
In the dark and brooding silence..."
Fittingly, the Rush tune Jacob's Ladder eminates from the speakers of my car as I drive to the market, filling my ears with the congruously somber story telling from the power trio, syncronizing my hearing with my other senses as I traverse the slushy streets. filling my day as I wait with baited breath the football game this evening - my beloved Patriots mere hours away from tangling with the team with the best record in the NFL.
This weather - could it be just one more advantage that the Patriots have over the Texans? Not much of this blustery stuff in Houston, at least not the snow and freezing rain, though they have their share of inclimate weather, particularly during the Hurricane season...but they can always close the roof to their field...
"Bruised and sullen stormclouds
Have the light of day obscured..."
The market is packed. The threat of rain combined with the late primetime start for the Patriots finds a curious cross section of this dirty little central Maine town in the aisles...a snow day meant no school today, so the normally quiet and mellow store is alive with packs of moping teenagers, penny-counting tweeners and wailing toddlers accompanying their tired-looking mothers...
The approaching game is much on my mind as I negotiate the clogged aisles. My shopping list a game plan, I find myself making adjustments, tweaking the gametime menu as I discover that Nathan's Red Hot Dogs are on sale. I sweep past the rows, quickly glancing down each as I seek daylight to run towards - the booze ailse suddenly opens up and I make a sharp cut to the left, passing by the cold beer and trendy flavored vodka...almost to the coffee creamer...
The hole closes quickly as old men stoop to the bottom shelf for the cheap house-brand whiskey and Coffee Brandy. Deftly, I am able to slide past them for my first score, but I can't take time to celebrate because I still need mayonaisse for my potato salad, so I'll have to brave the condiment aisle, where the yards come tough - the old blue-haired french women await, pretending to hunt for bargains but keeping an eye on your midsection, not willing to let you slip past them...
"Looming low and ominous
In twilight premature
Thunderheads are rumbling
In a distant overture... "
And then Alex Leifson breaks into a proper guitar solo, as I slide once again behind the wheel of my bright red Grand Am - Rush's Permanent Waves in the CD player, perfect music for a day that, to weather lovers like me, bring comfort like being wrapped in a warm blanket. I have several more stops as I attempt to fill my day while waiting for my Patriots to take the field...
Soon, the masterful sounds of Rush will be replaced by the cool grey call of Mike Tirico and the objective wisdom of John Gruden, the lights of Gillette Stadium causing a slight glare on the wet field turf - bringing back vile memories of the Jets' Joe Washington returning the overtime kickoff in a late fall deluge, also on a Monday night in Foxboro...
"All at once, the clouds are parted.
Light streams down in bright unbroken beams..."
...but that was Foxboro Stadium in an era that time forgot, it's bones covered like ancient fossils by the heavy asphalt of Gillette's parking lot , it's ghost roaming the broad corridors of Patriot Place and standing guard to The Hall, an eerie sentry to a troubled past now buried, it's casket covered by three banners, it's final resting place marked by three shining Lobardi Trophies, hopefully to remain entombed by success forever.
Dynasties die easy unlike the eras of failure and disappointment, which never really die at all. They are always on our minds as we obssess in our pregame routines, causing us to doubt - for the pain of those days can still be felt 13 years after first ascending to the title of Patriots' Dynasty...and it's not over, and will not be until our hooded leader says it is by his conspicuous absence.
Until then, we will continue to live the dream - hopefully to remember them always, and to appriciate being able to witness it as it happened...
"Follow men's eyes as they look to the skies.
The shifting shafts of shining weave the fabric of their dreams..."
Jacob's Ladder
Seasonably cool with a breeze, ever so slight, makes the difference between shirt sleeves and a winter jacket. I am quite comfortable in my Belichickian-style Hoodie, complete with faded mustard stains and sleeves appropriately chopped mid-forearm.
"The clouds prepare for battle
In the dark and brooding silence..."
Fittingly, the Rush tune Jacob's Ladder eminates from the speakers of my car as I drive to the market, filling my ears with the congruously somber story telling from the power trio, syncronizing my hearing with my other senses as I traverse the slushy streets. filling my day as I wait with baited breath the football game this evening - my beloved Patriots mere hours away from tangling with the team with the best record in the NFL.
This weather - could it be just one more advantage that the Patriots have over the Texans? Not much of this blustery stuff in Houston, at least not the snow and freezing rain, though they have their share of inclimate weather, particularly during the Hurricane season...but they can always close the roof to their field...
"Bruised and sullen stormclouds
Have the light of day obscured..."
The market is packed. The threat of rain combined with the late primetime start for the Patriots finds a curious cross section of this dirty little central Maine town in the aisles...a snow day meant no school today, so the normally quiet and mellow store is alive with packs of moping teenagers, penny-counting tweeners and wailing toddlers accompanying their tired-looking mothers...
The approaching game is much on my mind as I negotiate the clogged aisles. My shopping list a game plan, I find myself making adjustments, tweaking the gametime menu as I discover that Nathan's Red Hot Dogs are on sale. I sweep past the rows, quickly glancing down each as I seek daylight to run towards - the booze ailse suddenly opens up and I make a sharp cut to the left, passing by the cold beer and trendy flavored vodka...almost to the coffee creamer...
The hole closes quickly as old men stoop to the bottom shelf for the cheap house-brand whiskey and Coffee Brandy. Deftly, I am able to slide past them for my first score, but I can't take time to celebrate because I still need mayonaisse for my potato salad, so I'll have to brave the condiment aisle, where the yards come tough - the old blue-haired french women await, pretending to hunt for bargains but keeping an eye on your midsection, not willing to let you slip past them...
"Looming low and ominous
In twilight premature
Thunderheads are rumbling
In a distant overture... "
And then Alex Leifson breaks into a proper guitar solo, as I slide once again behind the wheel of my bright red Grand Am - Rush's Permanent Waves in the CD player, perfect music for a day that, to weather lovers like me, bring comfort like being wrapped in a warm blanket. I have several more stops as I attempt to fill my day while waiting for my Patriots to take the field...
Soon, the masterful sounds of Rush will be replaced by the cool grey call of Mike Tirico and the objective wisdom of John Gruden, the lights of Gillette Stadium causing a slight glare on the wet field turf - bringing back vile memories of the Jets' Joe Washington returning the overtime kickoff in a late fall deluge, also on a Monday night in Foxboro...
"All at once, the clouds are parted.
Light streams down in bright unbroken beams..."
...but that was Foxboro Stadium in an era that time forgot, it's bones covered like ancient fossils by the heavy asphalt of Gillette's parking lot , it's ghost roaming the broad corridors of Patriot Place and standing guard to The Hall, an eerie sentry to a troubled past now buried, it's casket covered by three banners, it's final resting place marked by three shining Lobardi Trophies, hopefully to remain entombed by success forever.
Dynasties die easy unlike the eras of failure and disappointment, which never really die at all. They are always on our minds as we obssess in our pregame routines, causing us to doubt - for the pain of those days can still be felt 13 years after first ascending to the title of Patriots' Dynasty...and it's not over, and will not be until our hooded leader says it is by his conspicuous absence.
Until then, we will continue to live the dream - hopefully to remember them always, and to appriciate being able to witness it as it happened...
"Follow men's eyes as they look to the skies.
The shifting shafts of shining weave the fabric of their dreams..."
Jacob's Ladder
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Ravens lose again, Patriots eye a top seed
There's really nothing quite like football in December.
The hitting gets harder, the intensity is raised higher than the light stanchions - and every play is significant in the quest to make "The Tournament".
The New England Patriots entered Sunday with a 9-3 record, which will stay intact since they don't square off against the 11-1 Houston Texans until tomorrow night - but that doesn't mean that the games played today do not impact the Patriots, quite the opposite in fact.
Though the Baltimore Ravens game at Washington was the only game with direct impact on New England, there were several games for which the outcome could come into play depending on the results of tomorrow night's game.
And the events of today make tomorrow night's game just that much more compelling
Of course, if the Patriots just take care of their own business and win out against Houston, San Francisco , Jacksonville and Miami, they will have earned a top 2 finish and a first round bye. If not, these games played today become impactful down the stretch:
Cleveland 30 Kansas City 7: The Browns are 5-3 in the last 8 games and have won three straight. There is nothing they are really doing exceptionally other than just playing hard. Nothing comes easy for the Browns, but lately nothing is coming easy for their opponents, either. So what looked like a cakewalk for the Broncos at midseason, their meeting with Cleveland in Denver has the look of a tougher game than the Broncos would want for the second to last game of the season...
Minnesota 21 Chicago 14: Right, we understand that the Vikings are in the NFC, but they are a potential bump in the road to the AFC leading Houston Texans when the two meet up two weeks from today in Houston. Today's win gives the Vikings a 7-6 record and keeps them right in the thick of the wildcard race in the NFC - which makes them very motivated.
Indianapolis 27 Tennessee 23: The Colts are never out of a game lately, and they may be the scariest team that no one is really talking about in regard to playoff seeding - but it's time to include them. At 9-4 and with a ton of momentum, the Houston Texans should be plenty concerned about the Colts, particularly if they can't go into Foxboro tomorrow night and beat the Patriots - and that makes Monday night's game all the more compelling for them.
Should the Texans lose to New England, they are staring down a finishing schedule of Indianapolis next week, a motivated Vikings squad the following week and a closing day showdown with the Colts in Indianapolis - so the Colts still have a small window of opportunity for the division crown and a 1st round bye...very small, but a chance nonetheless.
Washington 31 Baltimore 28: Baltimore falls to 9-4, having lost consecutive games, and fall a full game behind the Denver Broncos and a half a game behind the Patriots going into tomorrow night...and they've got the Broncos on deck in Baltimore next Sunday, which is a must win for the Ravens if they expect to have a Top 2 seed and a 1st round bye.
A loss to Denver would eliminate them from any possibility of a top 2 seed - and then they have the Giants coming to town the next week, then go to Cincinnati for the season finale...to repeat, a win next week against the Broncos is a must.
Should the Patriots win tomorrow night, the playoff picture would look thus:
1. Houston 11-2
2. New England 10-3
3. Denver 10-3
4. Baltimore 9-4
5. Indianapolis 9-4
6. Pittsburgh 7-6
Should the Patriots lose:
1. Houston 12-1
2. Denver 10-3
3. New England 9-4
4. Baltimore 9-4
5. Indianapolis 9-4
6. Pittsburgh 7-6
There is no question that the Texans / Patriots matchup tomorrow night is a huge game for both teams, but what else would you expect for December football in the NFL?
The hitting gets harder, the intensity is raised higher than the light stanchions - and every play is significant in the quest to make "The Tournament".
The New England Patriots entered Sunday with a 9-3 record, which will stay intact since they don't square off against the 11-1 Houston Texans until tomorrow night - but that doesn't mean that the games played today do not impact the Patriots, quite the opposite in fact.
Though the Baltimore Ravens game at Washington was the only game with direct impact on New England, there were several games for which the outcome could come into play depending on the results of tomorrow night's game.
And the events of today make tomorrow night's game just that much more compelling
Of course, if the Patriots just take care of their own business and win out against Houston, San Francisco , Jacksonville and Miami, they will have earned a top 2 finish and a first round bye. If not, these games played today become impactful down the stretch:
Cleveland 30 Kansas City 7: The Browns are 5-3 in the last 8 games and have won three straight. There is nothing they are really doing exceptionally other than just playing hard. Nothing comes easy for the Browns, but lately nothing is coming easy for their opponents, either. So what looked like a cakewalk for the Broncos at midseason, their meeting with Cleveland in Denver has the look of a tougher game than the Broncos would want for the second to last game of the season...
Minnesota 21 Chicago 14: Right, we understand that the Vikings are in the NFC, but they are a potential bump in the road to the AFC leading Houston Texans when the two meet up two weeks from today in Houston. Today's win gives the Vikings a 7-6 record and keeps them right in the thick of the wildcard race in the NFC - which makes them very motivated.
Indianapolis 27 Tennessee 23: The Colts are never out of a game lately, and they may be the scariest team that no one is really talking about in regard to playoff seeding - but it's time to include them. At 9-4 and with a ton of momentum, the Houston Texans should be plenty concerned about the Colts, particularly if they can't go into Foxboro tomorrow night and beat the Patriots - and that makes Monday night's game all the more compelling for them.
Should the Texans lose to New England, they are staring down a finishing schedule of Indianapolis next week, a motivated Vikings squad the following week and a closing day showdown with the Colts in Indianapolis - so the Colts still have a small window of opportunity for the division crown and a 1st round bye...very small, but a chance nonetheless.
Washington 31 Baltimore 28: Baltimore falls to 9-4, having lost consecutive games, and fall a full game behind the Denver Broncos and a half a game behind the Patriots going into tomorrow night...and they've got the Broncos on deck in Baltimore next Sunday, which is a must win for the Ravens if they expect to have a Top 2 seed and a 1st round bye.
A loss to Denver would eliminate them from any possibility of a top 2 seed - and then they have the Giants coming to town the next week, then go to Cincinnati for the season finale...to repeat, a win next week against the Broncos is a must.
Should the Patriots win tomorrow night, the playoff picture would look thus:
1. Houston 11-2
2. New England 10-3
3. Denver 10-3
4. Baltimore 9-4
5. Indianapolis 9-4
6. Pittsburgh 7-6
Should the Patriots lose:
1. Houston 12-1
2. Denver 10-3
3. New England 9-4
4. Baltimore 9-4
5. Indianapolis 9-4
6. Pittsburgh 7-6
There is no question that the Texans / Patriots matchup tomorrow night is a huge game for both teams, but what else would you expect for December football in the NFL?
Saturday, December 8, 2012
New England Patriots Gameday: Wearing the patch
Being a Patriots' Junkie is tough.
Patriots' fans live a structured life...at least on Sundays, when mornings are flurry of domestic responsibility in preraration for the game, followed by all manner of mind altering consumption and general excess.
Our moods and motivations are all tied to the outcome of the game, so our significant others and offspring become hopeful of a Patriots' victory so that the planned celebratory trip to Micky D's doesn't become a homemade feast of water logged hot dogs and undercooked macaroni and cheese...
So being a Patriots' football junkie is something that you might want to mention to - say, for instance - any person whom you may want to marry someday, because it can be ugly under the wrong circumstances. On the few occasions that they lose a game, my wife treats me very gently and my kids hug me - not that they care, they just don't want the hot dog/ mac& cheese thing to happen.
But what happens when New England plays on Monday night and Sunday suddenly has a huge void right in the middle of it?
You can't just hang around the living room / Man cave because around 1:00pm you will start DT-ing, and by the time halftime rolls around in the early game you're wandering aimlessly through the house in various stages of dress, stopping only to obssess over things like the fact that there is less than half a bottle of dish soap left.
So it is of utmost importance that you have a plan to aleviate the anticipatory anxiety and congruent detox symptoms - and we here at Chowder & Champions are here to help, offering the following checklist to help get you through the bulk of your day, or at least until it's time to get the kids settled down and then hunker down for the Sunday night game...
...which is a kind of a snoozer when compared to the following night's blockbuster but, hey, football...right?
When the Patriots play on Monday night, Sunday becomes a day of therapy - occupational or replacement, take your pick - and it's a family effort:
1. Sleep in as long as possible: Many fans have taken the initiative to get up and get started early, adding some positive momentum to their day. This is wrong. You'll have everything done by 11:30, then you'll have lunch and pass out in a food coma on the couch.
Which isn't the worst thing that could happen on a Sunday afternoon, so if you choose this avenue in which to take up your Sunday, you are single and most of the rest of this checklist will seem absurd and pointless to you, so go back to sleep...
But for the rest of us, the idea is to butt-fumble out of bed after recieving a pile driver from your kid or a nasty elbow from the wife, not so subtly urging you to go see what that crash was all about - and to make some coffee since you're already up.
2. Hygiene is key: Get the kids some Doritos and Pepsi, then go get a shower. Don't shave. Rather, leave your beard bordering on standard wino trim. It ilicitis sympathy from the checkout people at the places that you have to go, and helps other addicts recognize you at Walmart, because you know you're gonna have to go there at some point.
3. Coffee helps: It really does.
4. Appropriate nutrition is essential: After becoming showered and properly groomed and clothed - Patriots' gear is fine - it is time to properly address brunch, which should always be done in excess. This particular Sunday I am building my world famous Breakfast Club Sandwiches, which are illegal in some jurisdictions, due to both their addictive qualities and artery clogging properties...
...they also make a hell of a mess - on you, your victims and the kitchen so build a little cleaning time into your schedule.
5. Wear the Football patch: Watching football games not involving the Patriots is like wearing a nicotine patch. it replaces the addictive substance, but it's not quite the same. But it's football. And it's December football, which means that there's always the chance that one of the Patriots' rivals will see their post-season hopes squashed like grapes.
And suddenly remembering that this is a sports website, I have incorporated the watching of football games into this checklist - stuff that will help enhance your viewing pleasure as well as divert your attention away from the spider-heavy halllucinations:
6. MVP Race: Truthfully, anyone that still has designs on the league MVP trophy either played on Thursday night or will be playing Monday night, with the exception of Adrian Peterson. A big day could land him right in the thick of the race.
7. Kevlar Ben: The Steelers will trot Ben Roethlisberger back out as their starting quarterback, complete with Kevlar-lined padding to protect his injured ribs and shoulder. But now we couldn't care less...Charlie Batch got the win over Baltimore that benefited us in playoff positioning, so whatever, Steelers.
7a. Playing out the string in San Diego: The Chargers head into Sunday’s game riding a four-game losing streak and they’ve never won in Pittsburgh, posting an 0-14 mark all-time. Norv Turner is a lame duck coach with a team that quit on him a long time ago. So, again, whatever.
7b. The collapse of the Ravens: The only reason that Pittsburgh has the heavily armored Roethlisberger playing right now is that the Ravens are in a tail spin and face a difficult final stretch. The Ravens can keep losing so far as I am concerned, and the fact that they are facing an RGIII lead Redskins team fighting for a playoff spot gives me optimism.
8. Disrespecting the Dolphins: Some of the Miami Dolphins are upset because the Patriots found some success running the ball off left guard, running the same play repeatedly. Well...yeah. Isn't that what you're supposed to do, expose a weakness in the opposition's run defense and capitalize on it six times in a row?
I watched the tape a couple of times, and never really thought of leveling any sort of indictment against towards 7th year backup defensive tackle Tony McDaniel, a 6' 7", 305 pound product of the University of Tennessee for getting mauled and pushed around by the Patriots' offensive line - that is until he told a newspaper reporter that he felt that the Patriots disrespected he and his teammates by running right at him, repeatedly.
I wonder if Jim Harbaugh read that column? Now that the entire free world knows why you are a backup defensive tackle rather than a starting defensive tackle, I wonder if Frank Gore and his line and his offensive coordinator and every 49ers fan in the world wants to find out how badly you feel disrespected once your game against San Francisco has concluded?
That alone makes this game must see TV...
9. Adrian Peterson chasing Eric Dickerson: Minnesota running back Adrian Peterson needs to average 165 yards in the next 4 games to break Eric Dickerson’s single-season rushing mark of 2,105 yards. Why not? By all accounts, Peterson is a genuinely nice guy and the Vikings don't have the Patriots on their schedule so try to tune in and watch this guy run. He's coming off knee surgery and is the very definition of comeback player of the year, if not Most Valuable Player.
His Vikings face the Houston Texans the second to last game of the season, and it would be a shame if Peterson didn't run all over them...and a win against the Bears on Sunday would give the Vikings hope to continue a run to the playoffs. A motivated Vikings team playing the Texans is much better than one playing out the string...Skol!!!!
10. Sanchez' final stand?: The Jets are done, but there is always some kind of dysfunctional intrigue happening with them - and 2012 is a perfect example of that. It started with the team bringing in Tim Tebow to compete with Sanchez in training camp and 4 months later, it's still the talk of the team. It never went away. But you can be sure that the Jets' GM and perhaps it's Head Coach will be going away for badly mishandling this past offseason - and the fallout.
Tebow won't be playing Sunday but some kid named McElroy will be ready and waiting if Sanchez "bumbles" to Jacksonville.
11. Colts feelgood story: No matter how long you've been a Colts' hater, it's tough to root against this season's edition. Gone is Peyton Manning and his smug greatness, replaced by a guy that may end up being even better. The Colts mantra last season was to "Suck for Luck", meaning that the team should lose games in order to land the 1st overall pick in the draft and the rights to Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck.
The Colts still played to win and were competitive towards the end of the season - and now that Luck is blossoming into everything a quarterback should be, well, even if they are just playing the Titans you just can't help but to want to see him play...
...Unless you happen to play for the Houston Texans, who get Luck and Indianapolis twice in the final three games of the season. The Colts are in line for a wild card spot, but need to keep winning to secure the spot. With any luck at all - pardon the pun - the Texans will "Suck for Luck" and drop at least one of the two games.
12. Watch kickoff returns while you can: It's looking more and more as if the most violent play in all of sport is about to be a thing of the past, to be replaced by a one play, 4th & 15 from the scoring team's 30 yard line - from which they can either punt the football or elect to go for it to keep possession. So instead of a kick off, we would have a punt from the 30, a far less dangerous prospect. Instead of an onside kick, we have a 4th and 15 from the 30 - make the 1st down and you keep the ball....intriguing, other than one third of the "foot" from the word football is about to be eliminated.
13. Suddenly it's 7:30pm: You have successfully wasted an entire Sunday...now you have about 40 minutes to get the kids fed, bathed and jammie'd-up before the Sunday Night game...or maybe you don't watch the game - instead, perhaps spend the evening having an involved discussion with the wife, a video game with the kids...show them how much you appriciate them helping you through this most difficult of days...
...because Monday night you're gonna get your fix of Patriots' football, and the crisis will be over. It starts late enough that the Micky D's visit will have to be in anticipation of another great New England victory - so no matter how the game turns out, there will be no chance of water-logged hot dogs...
...which is the true beauty of Monday Night football games...
Patriots' fans live a structured life...at least on Sundays, when mornings are flurry of domestic responsibility in preraration for the game, followed by all manner of mind altering consumption and general excess.
Our moods and motivations are all tied to the outcome of the game, so our significant others and offspring become hopeful of a Patriots' victory so that the planned celebratory trip to Micky D's doesn't become a homemade feast of water logged hot dogs and undercooked macaroni and cheese...
So being a Patriots' football junkie is something that you might want to mention to - say, for instance - any person whom you may want to marry someday, because it can be ugly under the wrong circumstances. On the few occasions that they lose a game, my wife treats me very gently and my kids hug me - not that they care, they just don't want the hot dog/ mac& cheese thing to happen.
But what happens when New England plays on Monday night and Sunday suddenly has a huge void right in the middle of it?
You can't just hang around the living room / Man cave because around 1:00pm you will start DT-ing, and by the time halftime rolls around in the early game you're wandering aimlessly through the house in various stages of dress, stopping only to obssess over things like the fact that there is less than half a bottle of dish soap left.
So it is of utmost importance that you have a plan to aleviate the anticipatory anxiety and congruent detox symptoms - and we here at Chowder & Champions are here to help, offering the following checklist to help get you through the bulk of your day, or at least until it's time to get the kids settled down and then hunker down for the Sunday night game...
...which is a kind of a snoozer when compared to the following night's blockbuster but, hey, football...right?
When the Patriots play on Monday night, Sunday becomes a day of therapy - occupational or replacement, take your pick - and it's a family effort:
1. Sleep in as long as possible: Many fans have taken the initiative to get up and get started early, adding some positive momentum to their day. This is wrong. You'll have everything done by 11:30, then you'll have lunch and pass out in a food coma on the couch.
Which isn't the worst thing that could happen on a Sunday afternoon, so if you choose this avenue in which to take up your Sunday, you are single and most of the rest of this checklist will seem absurd and pointless to you, so go back to sleep...
But for the rest of us, the idea is to butt-fumble out of bed after recieving a pile driver from your kid or a nasty elbow from the wife, not so subtly urging you to go see what that crash was all about - and to make some coffee since you're already up.
2. Hygiene is key: Get the kids some Doritos and Pepsi, then go get a shower. Don't shave. Rather, leave your beard bordering on standard wino trim. It ilicitis sympathy from the checkout people at the places that you have to go, and helps other addicts recognize you at Walmart, because you know you're gonna have to go there at some point.
3. Coffee helps: It really does.
4. Appropriate nutrition is essential: After becoming showered and properly groomed and clothed - Patriots' gear is fine - it is time to properly address brunch, which should always be done in excess. This particular Sunday I am building my world famous Breakfast Club Sandwiches, which are illegal in some jurisdictions, due to both their addictive qualities and artery clogging properties...
...they also make a hell of a mess - on you, your victims and the kitchen so build a little cleaning time into your schedule.
5. Wear the Football patch: Watching football games not involving the Patriots is like wearing a nicotine patch. it replaces the addictive substance, but it's not quite the same. But it's football. And it's December football, which means that there's always the chance that one of the Patriots' rivals will see their post-season hopes squashed like grapes.
And suddenly remembering that this is a sports website, I have incorporated the watching of football games into this checklist - stuff that will help enhance your viewing pleasure as well as divert your attention away from the spider-heavy halllucinations:
6. MVP Race: Truthfully, anyone that still has designs on the league MVP trophy either played on Thursday night or will be playing Monday night, with the exception of Adrian Peterson. A big day could land him right in the thick of the race.
7. Kevlar Ben: The Steelers will trot Ben Roethlisberger back out as their starting quarterback, complete with Kevlar-lined padding to protect his injured ribs and shoulder. But now we couldn't care less...Charlie Batch got the win over Baltimore that benefited us in playoff positioning, so whatever, Steelers.
7a. Playing out the string in San Diego: The Chargers head into Sunday’s game riding a four-game losing streak and they’ve never won in Pittsburgh, posting an 0-14 mark all-time. Norv Turner is a lame duck coach with a team that quit on him a long time ago. So, again, whatever.
7b. The collapse of the Ravens: The only reason that Pittsburgh has the heavily armored Roethlisberger playing right now is that the Ravens are in a tail spin and face a difficult final stretch. The Ravens can keep losing so far as I am concerned, and the fact that they are facing an RGIII lead Redskins team fighting for a playoff spot gives me optimism.
8. Disrespecting the Dolphins: Some of the Miami Dolphins are upset because the Patriots found some success running the ball off left guard, running the same play repeatedly. Well...yeah. Isn't that what you're supposed to do, expose a weakness in the opposition's run defense and capitalize on it six times in a row?
I watched the tape a couple of times, and never really thought of leveling any sort of indictment against towards 7th year backup defensive tackle Tony McDaniel, a 6' 7", 305 pound product of the University of Tennessee for getting mauled and pushed around by the Patriots' offensive line - that is until he told a newspaper reporter that he felt that the Patriots disrespected he and his teammates by running right at him, repeatedly.
I wonder if Jim Harbaugh read that column? Now that the entire free world knows why you are a backup defensive tackle rather than a starting defensive tackle, I wonder if Frank Gore and his line and his offensive coordinator and every 49ers fan in the world wants to find out how badly you feel disrespected once your game against San Francisco has concluded?
That alone makes this game must see TV...
9. Adrian Peterson chasing Eric Dickerson: Minnesota running back Adrian Peterson needs to average 165 yards in the next 4 games to break Eric Dickerson’s single-season rushing mark of 2,105 yards. Why not? By all accounts, Peterson is a genuinely nice guy and the Vikings don't have the Patriots on their schedule so try to tune in and watch this guy run. He's coming off knee surgery and is the very definition of comeback player of the year, if not Most Valuable Player.
His Vikings face the Houston Texans the second to last game of the season, and it would be a shame if Peterson didn't run all over them...and a win against the Bears on Sunday would give the Vikings hope to continue a run to the playoffs. A motivated Vikings team playing the Texans is much better than one playing out the string...Skol!!!!
10. Sanchez' final stand?: The Jets are done, but there is always some kind of dysfunctional intrigue happening with them - and 2012 is a perfect example of that. It started with the team bringing in Tim Tebow to compete with Sanchez in training camp and 4 months later, it's still the talk of the team. It never went away. But you can be sure that the Jets' GM and perhaps it's Head Coach will be going away for badly mishandling this past offseason - and the fallout.
Tebow won't be playing Sunday but some kid named McElroy will be ready and waiting if Sanchez "bumbles" to Jacksonville.
11. Colts feelgood story: No matter how long you've been a Colts' hater, it's tough to root against this season's edition. Gone is Peyton Manning and his smug greatness, replaced by a guy that may end up being even better. The Colts mantra last season was to "Suck for Luck", meaning that the team should lose games in order to land the 1st overall pick in the draft and the rights to Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck.
The Colts still played to win and were competitive towards the end of the season - and now that Luck is blossoming into everything a quarterback should be, well, even if they are just playing the Titans you just can't help but to want to see him play...
...Unless you happen to play for the Houston Texans, who get Luck and Indianapolis twice in the final three games of the season. The Colts are in line for a wild card spot, but need to keep winning to secure the spot. With any luck at all - pardon the pun - the Texans will "Suck for Luck" and drop at least one of the two games.
12. Watch kickoff returns while you can: It's looking more and more as if the most violent play in all of sport is about to be a thing of the past, to be replaced by a one play, 4th & 15 from the scoring team's 30 yard line - from which they can either punt the football or elect to go for it to keep possession. So instead of a kick off, we would have a punt from the 30, a far less dangerous prospect. Instead of an onside kick, we have a 4th and 15 from the 30 - make the 1st down and you keep the ball....intriguing, other than one third of the "foot" from the word football is about to be eliminated.
13. Suddenly it's 7:30pm: You have successfully wasted an entire Sunday...now you have about 40 minutes to get the kids fed, bathed and jammie'd-up before the Sunday Night game...or maybe you don't watch the game - instead, perhaps spend the evening having an involved discussion with the wife, a video game with the kids...show them how much you appriciate them helping you through this most difficult of days...
...because Monday night you're gonna get your fix of Patriots' football, and the crisis will be over. It starts late enough that the Micky D's visit will have to be in anticipation of another great New England victory - so no matter how the game turns out, there will be no chance of water-logged hot dogs...
...which is the true beauty of Monday Night football games...
Thursday, December 6, 2012
New England Patriots Midseason Forum, Part 6: Offensive Line
"Football is brutal only from a distance. In the middle of it there's a calm, a tranquility. The players accept pain. There's a sense of order even at the end of a running play with bodies strewn everywhere. When the systems interlock, there's a satisfaction to the game that can't be duplicated. There's a harmony."
Not many written words demonstrate the province of an offensive line more eloquently than that little gem from author and playrite Don DiLillo. And if we believe his tome to be a truism, then the following statement must also be true:
The New England Patriots offensive line is the best in the NFL.
How do we know? How could someone make such a pretentious statement? It's simple: The operation of an offense begins with the line play - and the more they function in anonimity, the greater the positive effect it has on the offense.
It goes far beyond the simplicity of statistics, and DiLillo captures it. The brutality, the violence, the nastiness - all are a given to be successful in the trenches. But to dominate - to be the best - there must be focus, to drown out all stimulus that detracts from the task at hand, to put aside individuality and to work in tandem within the system - to become one.
There's a harmony. There's a calm, a tranquility.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
New England Patriots Midseason Forum, part 7: Receivers & Tight Ends
In an article now appearing on Musketfire.com, we take a look at the Patriots' recieving corps, including the tight ends. This is part 7 of a 9 part Bye week series and a short blurb from the article appears below:
The New England Patriots do not have a deep threat at reciever.
Some fans and media are down on wide reciever Brandon Lloyd because they think that he was brought into the fold to be that deep threat - but that's not his game and it never has been, though he can get loose from time to time for a long gainer. He's not an underneath possession reciever either. He will run intermediate routes underneath, but as soon as the ball hits his hands, he's looking for a place to sit down. He's not going to get you a great number of yards after the catch.
So...why did the Patriots go after him in Free Agency when it was percieved that they were a deep threat away from being a juggernaut?
New England signed Brandon Lloyd from the Rams not so much as a vertical threat, but as a horizontal threat. He is a master at working the sidelines with excellent hands, concentration and foot work. He can gain separation suddenly and will take the opposition's best corner to the outside every time, eliminatimg him from the action.
He is a possession reciever that works outside the numbers, and when you team him with someone like Wes Welker - who owns the middle of the field - the chains are going to be moving at a rapid pace.
The article in it's entirety can be read here .
The New England Patriots do not have a deep threat at reciever.
Some fans and media are down on wide reciever Brandon Lloyd because they think that he was brought into the fold to be that deep threat - but that's not his game and it never has been, though he can get loose from time to time for a long gainer. He's not an underneath possession reciever either. He will run intermediate routes underneath, but as soon as the ball hits his hands, he's looking for a place to sit down. He's not going to get you a great number of yards after the catch.
So...why did the Patriots go after him in Free Agency when it was percieved that they were a deep threat away from being a juggernaut?
New England signed Brandon Lloyd from the Rams not so much as a vertical threat, but as a horizontal threat. He is a master at working the sidelines with excellent hands, concentration and foot work. He can gain separation suddenly and will take the opposition's best corner to the outside every time, eliminatimg him from the action.
He is a possession reciever that works outside the numbers, and when you team him with someone like Wes Welker - who owns the middle of the field - the chains are going to be moving at a rapid pace.
The article in it's entirety can be read here .
New England Patriots Midseason Forum, Part 5: Defensive Line
In an article that can now be seen on Musketfire.com, we discuss the Patriots' defensive line in part 5 of this Bye Week 9 part series. A short blurb appears below.
"From top to bottom, New England's defensive line is huge - and any conversation to be had about this unit will alawys begin with Vince Wilfork.
At 6' 2" and 325 pounds, you will not find a more athletic big man. He anchors the interior and always demands double teams, whether in pass protection or in the running game. In the past two seasons, Wilfork has really begun to show his range, falling back into coverage on occasion and lining up as an end. He has a nose for the football and routinely sniffs out screens...not bad for another player labeled a "project" coming out of the University of Miami 9 years ago."
The story appears in it's entirety here .
"From top to bottom, New England's defensive line is huge - and any conversation to be had about this unit will alawys begin with Vince Wilfork.
At 6' 2" and 325 pounds, you will not find a more athletic big man. He anchors the interior and always demands double teams, whether in pass protection or in the running game. In the past two seasons, Wilfork has really begun to show his range, falling back into coverage on occasion and lining up as an end. He has a nose for the football and routinely sniffs out screens...not bad for another player labeled a "project" coming out of the University of Miami 9 years ago."
The story appears in it's entirety here .
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)